17 March, 2008

These Doubts Strike Deep


Uncertainty pervades every moment of our existence. It is everywhere, right down to the subatomic level where even electrons are only ghostly shadows of probability. What do you do; when you come across not two; as in the poem by Frost, but several paths diverging in a wood, and have absolutely no idea of which one to take? What do you do when you feel as if you somehow are failing to communicate with those close to you; when you feel as if you are under an ocean of doubt, and sinking deeper still?

Though one thing is certain, which I have learned in the twenty-odd years I have lived so far...it is generally much simpler to tell the truth, the essential, the basics. As the ending to the science fiction series of books, Rama, by Clarke goes,

..“I understand,” pseudo-Nicole said in the scene.

I understand, the real Nicole said to herself. That is the most important statement anyone can ever make. The whole key to life is understanding. And now I understand that I am a mortal creature whose time of death has come.
Another surge of intense pain was accompanied by a fleeting memory of a Latin line from an old poem:
Timor Mortis conturbat me. But I will not be afraid, because I understand...




And that is all.

All too soon, it is time to take off the masks of contorted emotion and go back to the mundane humdrum ritual of normal human existence; which is a relief, in some ways. Recently, I watched a movie called Enchanted, which tries to play on the theme that morals and ideals are not completely dead, even in today's world, that people can be good, and a lot more.

Maybe it is time to behave as if it is an ideal world after all.





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